An encouragement

An encouragement

Where have all the gods gone? Their locked inside my mind, awaiting their death penalty. And so I grasp the prison bars in contempt of my own pride, asking the executioner for assistance. The heavy weighted Man comes over to my cage, and I ask him the answer to the meaning of all this calamity, only to see him remove his mask, to find my face was there all along. There were no gods locked inside my mind, only a disease that caused me to believe I owned the world. I have to realize others might not be where I am, that they haven’t come to the realization that the the executioner is only their own thoughts being amped up by a chemical change, and that they are not their disease, despite the resounding resemblance between the image of the facade and who you really are. There is a hope for you out there, you don’t have to have all the answers, just know that you are cared for by a God who loves you. And the Voices, yes they are tormenting, but try to remember this: they can only harm you as much as you let them. Now I no that sounds cliche, but coming from someone who has had them, and having come to understand myself over the years off medicine and on, I have come to realize that the man staring back at me in the mirror is really just me! All that other stuff I see or think is only delusion. But you peel back all the madness and you get to the core of who I am. It might take a little digging but you will find yourself too. I know it aches to feel as if no one understands how you feel, yet I encourage you to keep getting up my friend. It’s like a boxer in a fight that endures many rounds of blow after blow, and in turn he sips some water and gets right back in the ring for another round. And you know what, it looked as if he might lose in the beginning, but in the end he won. That is how life is! By no means am I saying is it going to be easy. Some days you are going to want to quit. And even some days you might want to cover your face and weep, because you feel as if no one cares, when you feel like that, that is when you need to realize, your tears are in God’s hands, and He is using them like rain to water your very soul, to watch you grow in character. 

As you grieve your sanity, the madness seems to kill your only hope, and yet you move on, without crying. You try to remain passive, and still the pain fills you with a cancer. God is your chemo, in order to kill off the illness cells He must quarantine them by destroying all the cells. This is called pruning. In order for you to blossom you must first die to all that is of the world’s desires for you. Only then can He plant the new seed of His Love, then you can be born again. Think of this process as spiritual chemo for the soul, like the physical type is for the actual disease. People with mental illness, have to go through a deeper cleansing, and yet I have found He has been more merciful with me in the process. He is very understanding, He wants to peel back the illness and get to know the real you. And in His presence all that is tormenting falls away, though you might still suffer in this life, when you worship, and pray you can get a taste of heaven without the voices!